Tall Drink of Nerd: Mental Millionaire
The less money I have, the more I fantasize about what I would do if I won the lottery. Because I’m financially challenged right now, I’m currently avoiding situations where I have to spend money. So I’m at home, working, writing and yes, getting sucked into cheap cable shows like “How the Lottery Changed My Life”. Hello lottery fantasy fuel! It’s like gambling porn!
Surprisingly, the ratio of people improved by the big cash is high, according to this show. Yes, buying a lottery ticket means paying the Idiot Tax, but seriously, I absolutely know that I am destined to be a lottery success story. Here is what I’d do, just so you can hold me to it when it happens:
1. Charity – Yup, for real. Winning the lottery always enters my mind when I am on my way home from volunteering at the animal shelter. I know, I know, people say “Oh I’d give money to charity” all the time, but I have the recipient and ideas on what I’d like that money used for already. Plus, there is that whole tax deduction thing that charity helps with.
2. A Jet – It’s a good investment, I could rent it out to corporations when I wasn’t using it, donate time on it to charities and fly directly into my home-town to visit my Mom whenever I felt like it.
3. Trip around the world – Being broke/poor I’ve never been anywhere. After I win the lottery, you’ll be getting postcards, from me and the hubs, from everywhere. The Jet will come in handy here too.
4. Family – Yeah, you guys would get some of it. The amount depends on how much you love me and how good your story is. Seen (my husband) will be the impartial judge. I’ll bring you a check on my new jet.
5. Property – Not a huge house, just someplace comfortable where Seen and the kitties are happy.
6. Humanity – There used to be an article, in the Parade magazine, by a millionaire type guy. People would write to him with their financial woes and he would either give them dough or tell them it was obvious they could fix their problems themselves. I’d hire somebody to be that guy for me, because man, I’d be crying and handing out Benjamins to everybody who didn’t look like a meth-head.
What else? Throw a party? Start a literary journal? Buy some cute boots? After that, my mind doesn’t have any other want. I can’t seem to comprehend how to live without worrying about the cost of things. I guess it would be about comfort and a live-in masseuse.
I know that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. If I were, the lottery would not exist. What would you do with $8 million ($5.2 mill after taxes)? I’m looking forward to getting some new ideas of what to do WHEN I win.
featured image credit: Robert S. Donovan