Tall Drink of Nerd: Don’t Tell!
a blogumn by Amy Robinson
I can see by the box-office numbers that many of you saw Watchmen this weekend. Heck, Clark Perry even wrote his blogumn about it for Friday’s FaN. I haven’t seen it yet. Please, I’m begging you, don’t tell me about it!
Here’s a little quirk of mine: I hate knowing anything about a movie when I go into the theatre. Okay, maybe not anything, but keep the details, key plot points, character developments, those types of things far away from me. I enjoy being surprised and delight in weird, random turns movies take along the way to get to the point. After I see the movie, I’m all up for breaking it into parts/pieces and talking about it with you, but before I see it, don’t tell me! I’m a very impressionable youngish gal who might pick up your bias, good or bad, and let that color the movie slightly for me. What makes me mental is when the studio releases previews that include a slice of a scene that seems pivotal. My suspension of disbelief drops until we get to that scene. I end up not buying the moment when Jack Nicholson is going to die early on, because he obviously has to pee on James Spader’s shoes later in the movie.
When really big movies open, I avoid all media about them. I change the subject if a friend starts to talk about their opinion. There have been times where I even avert my eyes from billboards that seem to reveal a major plot point. I like to keep the ice of my brain nice and clean. I cannot zamboni away a Gene Shalit review, even if it’s ridiculous and all I really remember is his moustache moving up and down.
This works well with my theory of why opening weekend numbers are usually so high. I think many of you share my quirk.
The only exception to being kept in the dark is with the Harry Potter movies. Most of us already know all the plot points because we’re big nerds and who read the books within 24 hours of publication release. Aside from what’s happening at Hogwarts, I don’t want to know about it in advance.
Watchmen opened Thursday night at midnight and I had every intention to see it Saturday afternoon with our pre-paid little $7 vouchers I get from the work concierge. But apparently Watchmen is a special engagement, so vouchers aren’t valid. It may be just my principles, but I refuse to pay $15 for a matinee at the Plant in Van Nuys unless I get my own court of serving wenches to bring me grapes and wine and fan me with giant palm fronds.
So I haven’t seen Watchmen yet. I will soon, my vouchers are valid next week. This week though, I have to avoid everybody on the planet and my TV and the radio and the internets. This is going to be a quiet week. (I know that you are very tempted to tell me about it…)