Romance, Not Sex, at a Bed and Breakfast [Tall Drink of Nerd]

 In *Archives, Amy Robinson

Let me start off by clarifying that the Bed and Breakfast I am referring to is lovely. The proprietor was very nice and her breakfast, consisting of platter bacon, two types of crustless veggie quiche and blueberry clafloutis was divine. The rooms were immaculate and the resident cat spent the night on the foot of our bed. We had a perfectly lovely experience.

Now down to the nitty gritty, or rather, lack of any nitty or gritty.

I’m not sure who came up with the idea that a Bed and Breakfast stay was “romantic”, but now I honestly think they were people who liked having strangers listen to them getting down. A B&B is cozy, yes, homey, sure, but romantic in a sexy way, no. The word romantic is so commonly paired with B&B, that it seems natural to just say “We’re going to a romantic B&B up the coast!” and when I made the reservations, that is exactly the thought that ran through my head.

Me: “Ooh honey, this room has a fireplace and overlooks the river”
Seen (the honey, sneaking a peak at a picture on the Inn’s website): “Oh wow, that looks romantic!”
Me: “The place is all booked up except for this one room. Let’s stay here for our romantic night away!”

This would be a much needed getaway. By both our estimating, we hadn’t had an overnight outting together, by ourselves, since December 2004. It wasn’t for lack of interest, just life kept taking over and getting in the way. After a few years of overwhelming family commitments and being broke due to double unemployment, my hubby and I lost that ‘we need time away’ mindset.

But now everything has calmed down, and I decided on Friday afternoon that we were just going to get away, the next day. We needed to step away from work, commitments, apartment re-concepting, daily exercise nagging, basically step away from our rut. A mini-vacation is about adventure, discovering new different things, learning history and just being goofy together. So we booked a room, packed a bag and drove 3 hours with constellations of little hearts floating around the car. It was go time for Romance!

When we arrived at the gorgeous old house overlooking the river, the idea of tucking ourselves into the cozy bed and spending some quality time together was exciting. Virginia, the owner, met us at the back door and walked us up to our room on the second floor. The Inn was beautiful, afternoon light slanted warm amber rays across the big brass bed and we had already forgotten about tasks and chores of daily life. But what was obvious was that a B&B is basically a rooming house. Suddenly, knowing the place was booked-up meant that all the rooms around us were populated by people. People who could hear. People who were just on the other side of the wall. People who would be seeing us the next morning at breakfast.

Not that I’m particularly vocal or boisterous during the fine art of love, but in my imagination, noisy bed springs and a headboard slapping against a wall overwhelmed all thoughts of amore. The ardor was cooled, the fire was dampened, the TV was turned on.

To be fair, romance doesn’t necessarily mean sexy fun time, so in that sense a B&B can be romantic with out the boot banging. But a night away should contain intimacy and reconnection in a spiritual, emotional and physical way too.

Max, the three legged kitty

So we left our room, walked around the tiny town, had a smoothie and some delicious italian food. I was enjoying my husbands company. We were holding hands and making each other laugh. When we got back, late that night, both full from pasta and garlic bread, we did snuggle into that cozy double bed, let Max, the resident cat sleep in our bed and quietly spoonsed away the mountain mid-night chill. We had a touch of romance with out the romp.

Next time though, I’ll be staying at a hotel.

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featured image credit: Jose Fraisse

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Showing 6 comments
  • Seen

    Bed and Breakfast. Schmed and Schmeakfast. 

  • Seen

    Bed and Breakfast. Schmed and Schmeakfast. 

  • Ernessa T. Carter

    Oh my gosh, Amy, you totally nailed it — while sadly not being able to get nailed. Monique from Political Physics and I stayed at a B&B on Martha’s Vineyard for a book event this summer. Soooo cute, but the morning after we stayed up talking (as girlfriends who haven’t seen each other in a while or wont to do) the couple in the neighboring room ended up teasing us about being so loud. The rest of the time there, we only had quiet conversations. I can’t even imagine attempting sex in such a thinly-walled, intimate room situation. #teamhotel

    • Jenny

      Wow….This was very informative. JP and I will not be staying in B&Bs!

  • Ernessa T. Carter

    Oh my gosh, Amy, you totally nailed it — while sadly not being able to get nailed. Monique from Political Physics and I stayed at a B&B on Martha’s Vineyard for a book event this summer. Soooo cute, but the morning after we stayed up talking (as girlfriends who haven’t seen each other in a while or wont to do) the couple in the neighboring room ended up teasing us about being so loud. The rest of the time there, we only had quiet conversations. I can’t even imagine attempting sex in such a thinly-walled, intimate room situation. #teamhotel

    • Jenny

      Wow….This was very informative. JP and I will not be staying in B&Bs!

Romance, Not Sex, at a Bed and Breakfast [Tall Drink of Nerd]

Let me start off by clarifying that the Bed and Breakfast I am referring to is lovely. The proprietor was very nice and her breakfast, consisting of platter bacon, two types of crustless veggie quiche and blueberry clafloutis was divine. The rooms were immaculate and the resident cat spent the night on the foot of our bed. We had a perfectly lovely experience.

Now down to the nitty gritty, or rather, lack of any nitty or gritty.

I’m not sure who came up with the idea that a Bed and Breakfast stay was “romantic”, but now I honestly think they were people who liked having strangers listen to them getting down. A B&B is cozy, yes, homey, sure, but romantic in a sexy way, no. The word romantic is so commonly paired with B&B, that it seems natural to just say “We’re going to a romantic B&B up the coast!” and when I made the reservations, that is exactly the thought that ran through my head.

Me: “Ooh honey, this room has a fireplace and overlooks the river”
Seen (the honey, sneaking a peak at a picture on the Inn’s website): “Oh wow, that looks romantic!”
Me: “The place is all booked up except for this one room. Let’s stay here for our romantic night away!”

This would be a much needed getaway. By both our estimating, we hadn’t had an overnight outting together, by ourselves, since December 2004. It wasn’t for lack of interest, just life kept taking over and getting in the way. After a few years of overwhelming family commitments and being broke due to double unemployment, my hubby and I lost that ‘we need time away’ mindset.

But now everything has calmed down, and I decided on Friday afternoon that we were just going to get away, the next day. We needed to step away from work, commitments, apartment re-concepting, daily exercise nagging, basically step away from our rut. A mini-vacation is about adventure, discovering new different things, learning history and just being goofy together. So we booked a room, packed a bag and drove 3 hours with constellations of little hearts floating around the car. It was go time for Romance!

When we arrived at the gorgeous old house overlooking the river, the idea of tucking ourselves into the cozy bed and spending some quality time together was exciting. Virginia, the owner, met us at the back door and walked us up to our room on the second floor. The Inn was beautiful, afternoon light slanted warm amber rays across the big brass bed and we had already forgotten about tasks and chores of daily life. But what was obvious was that a B&B is basically a rooming house. Suddenly, knowing the place was booked-up meant that all the rooms around us were populated by people. People who could hear. People who were just on the other side of the wall. People who would be seeing us the next morning at breakfast.

Not that I’m particularly vocal or boisterous during the fine art of love, but in my imagination, noisy bed springs and a headboard slapping against a wall overwhelmed all thoughts of amore. The ardor was cooled, the fire was dampened, the TV was turned on.

To be fair, romance doesn’t necessarily mean sexy fun time, so in that sense a B&B can be romantic with out the boot banging. But a night away should contain intimacy and reconnection in a spiritual, emotional and physical way too.

Max, the three legged kitty

So we left our room, walked around the tiny town, had a smoothie and some delicious italian food. I was enjoying my husbands company. We were holding hands and making each other laugh. When we got back, late that night, both full from pasta and garlic bread, we did snuggle into that cozy double bed, let Max, the resident cat sleep in our bed and quietly spoonsed away the mountain mid-night chill. We had a touch of romance with out the romp.

Next time though, I’ll be staying at a hotel.

If you liked this post, please do us the further boon of Liking the Fierce and Nerdy page on FaceBook. Also, we’re giving great stream on Twitter, so do give us follow.

featured image credit: Jose Fraisse

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