Bad at Girling

 In Amy Robinson

Back in August, I bought some fancy, gel, nail-wrap thingies from my niece, Jennifer. She just started selling them and I figured I’d support her by buying a pack. Plus they are hella cute, I had a hard time just picking one set.

Taken into the purchase-limit consideration was my general lack of primping ability. There are long swathes of time between mani-pedi and even then, I paint my own digits, fairly badly, with the least expensive, non-animal tested polish I find close to the Rite-Aid checkout counter. (Hello Wet-n-Wild!) Toenail painting isn’t too traumatic, but I try to time the finger paint upgrade so it’s completed a few days before anyone will lay eyes on them, so the mess I create around my cuticles will wear off and you won’t know how shaky and bad I am at painting inside the lines.


Such precision.

Yesterday, a full 3 months after I bought the super-easy-to-apply nail wraps, I finally made the effort to give myself a fancy mani.

Twenty-four hours after the fancy nail-wrap application only 3, of the original 10, remain on my finger-tips. I take full responsibility for this failure, as my niece, who has 7 children, managed to apply hers perfectly and they lasted for THREE WEEKS. I’m just bad at this girl stuff.

I’ve always been fairly bad at girling. Visiting a friends bathroom, especially staying overnight, I would stand in unkempt awe at the amount of shower gels, shampoos, creams and unguents they had just for general upkeep. (My husband notes that just referring to lady cleaning products as unguents proves my badness at girling.) I was always just happy with Suave, or whatever fit the budget.

What is all this for?

What is all this for?

My long hair is rarely styled more than just a brush to one side or the other, it doesn’t really help that it’s so stubbornly limp that even if I curl it, it falls to standard, meh, levels of waviness within minutes of leaving the house. I’m still bad at make-up, 20+ years after starting to use it. Sometimes I give myself a smokey/bruised eye look by combining purple and blue highlights on my lids. When I go into Sephora, I make a bee-line for the Benefit, buy the replacement for whatever I just ran out of (base or mascara), pay, get my sample lip-gloss and high-tail it out of there. Even my choice of fragrance, a spiced essential oil, reminds people of their grandma.

Speaking of Grandma’s, I know this came from my Mom, Sally, who had minimal product in the house. She only put on lipstick for going out (aka, to church) and uses Jergens lotion. Full stop.

I’m not saying I’m bad at being a woman. I’m me, mostly unfluffed, and proud of who I am. I appreciate a nice boot and can toss on a dress (I do own 34 sun-dresses, mainly because I live in So Cal and pants are the enemy of comfort.) I appreciate a good ball-gown, or stiletto from afar, but I’ll never understand the pull of brand handbags. Everybody, every woman, is unique in their girl-ness. I’m not judging them, or me really. Just stating a fact. There are all types of females and I just happen to be the kind without an aptitude for product.Chilly is a Relative Term

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  • Ave Valencia

    Those are cute.
    I need a mani for Tuesday.
    I think I’m just gonna fake it and apply fake frenchies Monday night then try not to turn in my sleep.

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Ginger cat standing in the sun with pleading eyes.